healthy living - mind, body, and soul

Month: September 2018

Walls + Boundaries

Walls + Boundaries

 

The women with the highest walls have the deepest love.

 

This.

 

I’ll be the first to tell you that I am guarded, so best of luck getting through my walls. Somewhere deep inside, this quote, this idea, feels like it’s something to be proud of. I guess I see it like this – my walls are a form of protection, and the ones willing to stay, break down my walls, and work through it with me, have kind of proven to me that they are worthy of being let in. When I think about my walls and finding my person one day, I always think of the song This Is What It Takes by Shawn Mendes. I think he understands. 😉

 

Have those same people I deemed worthy of letting in also still hurt me? You bet. And in some of the most emotionally excruciating ways. So, what happens? My walls go up even higher this time, which brings me to this…

 

Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach people where the door is.

 

This is a completely true statement and it resonates with me entirely. I am super aware that my walls keep everybody out. And yet, my walls stay firmly intact. I have been working on this for over 2 years now. Being vulnerable is extremely difficult for me, but I promised myself I’d keep trying. So far, it’s continuously resulted in hurt, and it’s also been really beautiful and beneficial. (more…)

My Faith in God

My Faith in God

 

Over the last 3 years, I have gradually built my faith and my relationship with God. I’m very quiet in my faith, as I feel it’s extremely personal. I don’t really discuss it with anyone, as it’s something that’s close to my heart. Throughout my life, I’ve believed, and I haven’t. I spent nights crying while praying and I’ve had conversations about not believing at all. Through this, I’ve found that, for me, there is a difference between organized religion and simply believing in God. I choose to believe in God and to build my relationship in a way that works for me, as I believe every person should.

 

After experiencing a difficult event in my life, I struggled a lot. I was used to doing yoga basically nightly, but after this, it took me about 7 weeks to get back on my yoga mat. When I finally got back on my mat, I chose to do one of my favorite videos, Love Yourself by Nicky Jones. And I cried the entire time. It was through this experience and my continued yoga practice, that I really began to develop a relationship with God.

 

My Faith in God | www.CescaRose.com

 

If anyone were to ask me today, I would simply say I found God through yoga. Every night on my yoga mat, in silence, in stillness, I prayed. I prayed for help, for strength, to be pulled up. People who do yoga, always say to be prepared emotionally for whatever comes up while you’re on the mat. And it’s the truth. You never know when or how something emotionally tough will come to meet you. I have gotten on my yoga mat in a completely great place before and still ended crumpled up in tears. It happens. Through yoga, I found myself, and I undoubtedly found God.

 

I’ve since kept on my journey. For me, believing was a struggle because it’s based on trust. Believing isn’t something you can see, and there isn’t anything tangible to grab hold of. It’s in your heart. Having faith, to me, means just that – trusting that there is a higher power to have faith in. And let’s be honest, trust has never been my strongest area. Generally speaking, I am able to trust, however I am intuitive, and I observe a lot. When someone has hurt or wronged me, I will pull back. And interestingly enough, I found myself doing this with God ALL the time. Every ounce of my being wanted to trust, but oftentimes I was blocked. And when I did trust, I’d get angry when I felt let down, and I’d want to give up. But, I didn’t! (more…)

How You Talk To Yourself Matters

How You Talk To Yourself Matters

 

“It’s important to keep your feelings and self-worth in different places – because when your feelings get hurt, it shouldn’t change the way you see yourself.”

 

I came across this quote yesterday and it resonated with me so much. I haven’t really had the words lately for how I’m feeling, as it’s been over a week now since I’ve not been feeling like myself. You know I love my alignment time, when I write out how I’m feeling, but I haven’t even been doing that the lasts 2 days probably. I’m not sure I have anything nice to say, and I refuse to dwell on the negative.

 

Unfortunately, I just haven’t had anything kind to say about myself either, which is tough to admit, given I try really hard to always be positive. And I try to give you tips and tools here for how to be your best self. But again, we’re all human – and sometimes that means we fall. I think this time, I’ve allowed myself to be in this space a little too long now, so I need to work on bringing myself up.

 

I’ll be the first to tell you that it matters how you talk to yourself. I’ve caught myself ruminating in the negative self-talk cycle, and it’s tough and disheartening. It’s also why I haven’t taken the time to write the last few days. I looked back at my writings the last week or so, and the last kind thing I wrote about myself was around the 8th or 9th.  Just a few days after that is when I wrote my Attitude of Gratitude, to try to lift myself up. And it worked in the moment. It’s definitely a valuable tool and something I need to practice more often.

 

But back to this quote. I think this describes me so well in this moment. And I didn’t realize until I read this quote, that I continue to struggle with this. I don’t think I’ve realized because I’ve been doing SO WELL, and I was in a really good place Unfortunately, my feelings were hurt and that begun the downward spiral, and it certainly amplified feeling negative and all the negative self-talk. Then I read this quote yesterday, and I was like oh, what a good point. (more…)