As another year comes to a close, I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge what a transformative year it’s been. And to give thanks for my Biggest Blessing of 2018.
At the start of this year, I told myself over and over again that this is it, this is my year! And honestly, in SO MANY ways, it absolutely was my year. I think what I didn’t know leading into this year was just how much healing I had left to do.
I learned again what it means to let go. Most of the time instead of saying learning how to let go, I refer to it as the art of learning how to not fall apart. But, no matter how you or I choose to look at it, it’s a necessary form of healing. And yes, it does require letting go, and in doing so, you really do start to fall apart less. Through it all, no matter how much it hurts, you’ll find healing. After all, what other option is there? Hanging on only hurts and none of us want that.
I also learned again what it means to find closure. It was really tough feeling like there was no true ending or closure for the relationship I learned so much from. I walked away to save myself, to save us. But, in doing so, I left so much broken, unhealed, and hanging in the air. Not only for myself, but for him. And it was unfair. Finding the closure I needed was hard, and it was heartbreaking all over again. Surely, it wasn’t without more hurt. But here’s the thing – I think it’s beautiful that we, as humans, are so resilient. And it’s really freeing to realize that the choice to heal is all yours, it’s within your hands. I could sit here being angry, unforgiving, and continuously hurt, but what good does that do? I’d keep myself in a place of unnecessary suffering. And that’s just not helpful to anyone. Today I feel blessed to have sought, worked for, and received the closure I know I so desperately needed. It’s like a gaping wound has been healed, and more than anything, I am wholly grateful for the opportunity.
Through all of the hurt and healing, I finally learned wholeheartedly what it means to love myself. At the start of this year, I thought for sure I knew what it meant to love myself, and in so many ways, I absolutely did know. But as I continued on my journey throughout this last year, I learned so much more about what it truly means. And without a single doubt, I stand in that space today – on solid ground and unshakable – knowing my value and my worth and what it means to love and respect myself. Along with always choosing to do the next right thing for ME. I have learned so much, and I know today, in this very moment, that I am the best version of myself.
I also learned this year that relationships are important – not just intimate ones, but relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and exes. I have no desire, space, or tolerance for any relationship that doesn’t honor what I know I deserve. I’ve also learned that it’s really not about the other person in the relationship, it’s about YOU and only you. It’s about how you react and respond – you can only control yourself, so choose to be kind and to be the best version of yourself. Everything works out as it’s meant to, when it’s meant to. So, be you, do you, for you – and let the pieces fall how they are meant to.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Okay now, on to my Biggest Blessing of 2018. Without a doubt, my biggest blessing this year has been my capacity to heal myself. This transformative journey of mine began over 3 years ago, which is sometimes hard to believe. But, my word, has it been the most necessary, eye-opening, and enlightening few years of my life. As I’ve said time and time again, yes, I’d certainly change a few things – and at the same time, I know everything happens for a reason, exactly as it’s meant to. I have trusted in my journey and in the process. So many times I didn’t know how I’d make it another second, another minute, another day, another week, another month, another year. Yet here I am! And I am so incredibly thankful.
I am grateful to God for His guidance throughout my journey. Honestly, my faith in God has not always been, but I tried repeatedly, and I worked hard to build my relationship with God. It surely didn’t happen overnight, but I am proud of where I stand today, and I know that with Him, ALL things are possible. I’ve yet to mention it here, so now would be a good time to reveal that I got my first tattoo this year, on my 33rd birthday. What is it, you ask? Well, it’s the symbols for God is greater than the highs and the lows. I considered getting this tattoo for probably more than a year, and finally, I just decided to go for it. It’s symbolic of my relationship with God, and also, of my journey. And because every time I didn’t think I’d make it, He was there. Every time I thought I saved myself, it was really Him saving me. I am entirely grateful, thankful, and blessed.
So, there you have it! My 2018 summed up within a few paragraphs. Now tell me, what was YOUR biggest blessing of 2018?!
I’m finding it so very exciting to be in such a good place – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I’ve honestly never felt better about where I’m am in life and what’s to come. I have ALL THE FEELS about 2019, and I am SO looking forward to an incredibly blessed and abundant year!
Without a single shadow of a doubt, my best is yet to come! Here’s to ending the year on a high note and beginning the new year on an EVEN HIGHER note.
Blessings to you all as you close out this year and welcome a new year!