Creating the life I desire – this topic is on my mind all day every day, without fail. And I struggle because it’s like, what exactly am I doing with my life? It’s also irritating because it’s been years now, and I’m still not sure what my answers are. Yes, I can and do envision the life I desire – but, I’m always feelings stuck, asking myself what the next step is. Basically it’s like this divided feeling of having one foot in the right direction and one stuck behind me in quicksand. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve done a lot and I’ve come very far, but I’m not yet where I desire to be.
I was looking back in my notebook the other day, and I noticed that about 3 months ago, I wrote this: I guess I’m focusing on BEING stuck. Being afraid of being stuck is keeping me stuck. I then wrote Ah! I’m getting it now. THIS is what I must change. My conclusion from that writing – My reality is I’m STUCK in everything I DO NOT want. Also, that I am keeping myself stuck.
Here I am, 3 months later, still stuck in the same cycle. And so I continue to question what it is and where it comes from. Definitely some other underlying issue here that I’m yet to recognize.
What I keep coming back to is that I simply don’t know where I belong. More often than not, I don’t feel like I belong here. Here being Michigan. And I have mixed feelings about that because I grew up here, my family is here, some of my friends are here. But no matter, I always come back to the fact that this place doesn’t feel like home. When I think of “home”…it’s not this.
So, what do I think of when I think of ”home”? My mind wanders to Maryland, where I lived for 8+ years. I felt at home there, and I really, really loved it. It was quiet, peaceful, calm. The weather was near perfect for my liking. Lately I’ve been telling myself that when I’m more where I want to be, more established in the vision I have for myself, that I’ll return there. But then that gets into that whole destination thing of “I’ll be happy when”. But then again, not really, because I’m happy now – with myself, I am happy. Sure, my surroundings, not so much, but I am good with who I am.
My only semi-hesitancy with Maryland is the cost-of-living (and insane traffic!). But, I prefer not to get stuck in that scarcity mindset of I’ll never make enough to live well there. That’s a heap of BS because I know I’m more than capable. AND I’ve done it before – on my own.
Do you see all the stories I just circulate in my head? What’s the use? Nada – nothing at all. It’s just that, a story. So again, if I change my story, I change my life. Same for you.
Quote for you-
If you’re overthinking, you’re under-living.
-Tyler Jack Harris
I read this over the weekend just before I fell asleep, and I was like holy goodness, he’s ENTIRELY correct. I am like THE master overthinker and sometimes it drives me absolutely insane. If I would just shut up and get out of my own way, I’d be golden.
Oooh, speaking of, another quote for you.
You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.
-Jennifer J. Freeman
But, guess who’s still blocking her own path? Hiiiiii. So annoying, I tell you. Here I am day-after-day wondering when I’m going to get out of my own way and just start living. Like, when is enough ENOUGH? And at what point to get I get sick and tired of my own BS?
And because quotes are obviously my life in words…
Our fantasies are our realities in an excuse-free world.
Honestly, read that a few more times and realllllllly let it sink in. By the way, if you’ve not read You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero, READ IT. Like, today. Her book is effing incredible. I’d sure benefit from reading it again AND from actually finishing her other book, You Are A Badass At Making Money. Hop on over to Amazon and order yourself BOTH books. Super light-a-fire-under-you inspiring!
Okay, so this post isn’t really what I set out to write, but it’s apparently what I needed to write. I’m just tired of feeling stuck and not really knowing which way to go or what to do. And honestly, I super annoy myself with this.
So here’s what I’m going to do – my next post will be more along the lines of creating the life I desire, along with vision boards. I’ve been wanting to create vision boards for a while now, so this is the opportune time. Actually, I’ve been trying, but because I’m not being clear on EXACTLY what I desire, I can’t even create a vision board that accurately reflects what I want in life. Ahh, talk about frustrating.
Obviously what I need to do is GET VERY CLEAR on what it is I truly desire. In general terms, I know very well – it’s just the gap between thought and action that I keep getting stuck in. But, if I’m being honest, it’s that recurring question that also keeps throwing me for a loop – the question where do I belong? I guess the key is to not get stuck on that, but to instead begin creating the life I desire, and see where it takes me. I think that’s my best bet!
I’m not alone in this, right? Do you ever feel stuck? Are you feeling stuck now? I think most everyone has a life they desire to create, but simply don’t think it’s possible. For me, I KNOW it’s possible! I just have to get out of my own way…as usual. And I sure hope you also know it’s possible for you. So, same for you – get out of your own way!
So anyway, be on the lookout for my vision boards on Thursday. I’m off to visually create the life I desire, and then it’ll become my reality. Oh, and one more book rec, which I’m sure I’ve mentioned before – The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Read it and then BELIEVE and FEEL that you already have everything you desire.
The power of the mind, my friends – it’s REAL.