Something will grow from all you are going through. And it will be you.
This is always a good reminder during difficult times. While it doesn’t eliminate or ease what you’re going through, it lets you know you’ll come out on the other side stronger because of it. Again, it’s that light at the end of the tunnel. A glimmer of hope that something good will follow the bad, the hurt, the difficultly.
This quote served to remind me many times that what I was going through wasn’t permanent and that I would, in fact, grow, learn, and become stronger as a result. Trust, it’s not easy – I’m sure you know. When you’re crumbled up, crying, and falling apart on the floor…it’s REALLY hard to see and understand that everything you are experiencing is lesson and that you will grow from it tremendously. I know, in the moment, the only thing you can ask is why.
I can tell you this, there were times I thought I’d never pick myself up off the ground – a spot I found myself in regularly – and times I couldn’t stop crying. But, when the storm passes and you’re still standing, you’re given this blessed opportunity to look back and reflect on everything – and, it’s during this time, when it will all become clear. The reason it happened, the reason you allowed it, the reason you went through it. And how to avoid it in the future…if and ONLY if, you learned the lesson. Because if not, trust that you’ll find yourself experiencing the same thing again. And you will, until you actually learn. Unfortunate, but true.
When I look back over the last few years, there are times I felt ashamed, guilty, beyond numb, coldhearted, embarrassed. And heartbroken, but also just wholly BROKEN. Like every ounce of me was in shambles, a million tiny little pieces…like I would never put myself back together again. Or certainly that I’d never be the same again.
BUT, here’s the thing – THAT’S the point.
I’m not the same and I’ll never be the same. That is why we experience the things we do – we learn, and ultimately, we grow. And what’s life without challenges that grow and strengthen us?
Looking back, what have I learned? That I was strong before, and I am stronger now. That I didn’t love myself enough before, but I absolutely do now. That I didn’t value and respect myself enough, but now I do, and I know my worth. That others’ direct shaming of me made me feel ashamed, but, that’s on them, not me. That I was a people pleaser, but now…no one’s opinion of me has a direct impact on me, which is freeing. I cannot control how others see me, I can only control how I see myself. I’ve learned that, no matter how good I am to someone, they’ll only change if they want to, and only if they see a problem with their actions or behaviors. Above all, I learned that I am resilient and can endure far more than I thought possible. Yes, I crumbled to bits, AND I’m still standing. Stronger now than before.
This list could go on and on and on, precisely because we grow through what we go through. But only if we allow ourselves to and if we DO THE WORK it requires. These things don’t just happen, you must be completely self-aware and able to reflect with great introspection. Otherwise, you don’t learn and will continue to have the same experiences. Know the choice is yours. And know you are stronger than you acknowledge.