healthy living - mind, body, and soul

How You Talk To Yourself Matters


“It’s important to keep your feelings and self-worth in different places – because when your feelings get hurt, it shouldn’t change the way you see yourself.”


I came across this quote yesterday and it resonated with me so much. I haven’t really had the words lately for how I’m feeling, as it’s been over a week now since I’ve not been feeling like myself. You know I love my alignment time, when I write out how I’m feeling, but I haven’t even been doing that the lasts 2 days probably. I’m not sure I have anything nice to say, and I refuse to dwell on the negative.


Unfortunately, I just haven’t had anything kind to say about myself either, which is tough to admit, given I try really hard to always be positive. And I try to give you tips and tools here for how to be your best self. But again, we’re all human – and sometimes that means we fall. I think this time, I’ve allowed myself to be in this space a little too long now, so I need to work on bringing myself up.


I’ll be the first to tell you that it matters how you talk to yourself. I’ve caught myself ruminating in the negative self-talk cycle, and it’s tough and disheartening. It’s also why I haven’t taken the time to write the last few days. I looked back at my writings the last week or so, and the last kind thing I wrote about myself was around the 8th or 9th.  Just a few days after that is when I wrote my Attitude of Gratitude, to try to lift myself up. And it worked in the moment. It’s definitely a valuable tool and something I need to practice more often.


But back to this quote. I think this describes me so well in this moment. And I didn’t realize until I read this quote, that I continue to struggle with this. I don’t think I’ve realized because I’ve been doing SO WELL, and I was in a really good place Unfortunately, my feelings were hurt and that begun the downward spiral, and it certainly amplified feeling negative and all the negative self-talk. Then I read this quote yesterday, and I was like oh, what a good point.


A majority of the time, I can brush off what others think, feel, or say about me. Not a big thing and not a reflection of me. However, when I’m already feeling fragile, these things affect me a great deal. Should I let them? No, of course not. But again, I’m human, and it happens. I think my problem lies in hanging on to it and not just feeling it and letting it pass quickly. I get stuck in the negative and start questioning everything about myself.


When I was looking back at my writings last night, I noticed that about a week ago or so, I wrote all these positive things about where I’m at in life, the good, and what’s to come. Then I compared that to the negative self-talk I’ve been doing lately, and it was interesting…because everything I felt positive about then are the exact same things I shamed myself for the last few days. Funny how that works, huh?


But, what does this then tell us? It’s all THOUGHTS – it’s all about your mindset. When I’m feeling positive and in a good place, everything is wonderful! But when someone hurts my feelings, I am suddenly entirely worthless to myself. Oooh this is so wrong and makes me so sad to realize. I know I have come SO FAR from where I used to be, and I must keep that in sight, and not get caught up in how others view me. Or at the very least, not let it affect me so negatively. I just need to acknowledge whatever it is and keep it moving.


It’s tough to let someone rattle me so much. Really, it just feels wholly unacceptable. I know I am better than that. I know myself better than anyone and I need to remember that! Through all this, what I am thankful for, is that I am completely self-aware, and it’s a really good quality.


I think I need to pause, take a few deep breaths, and then consciously CHOOSE to turn this all around before it gets out of hand. I am also thinking about creating a new morning + evening routine. I love my alignment time, and I’m sure I will still write as I have been. Lately I’m just feeling as though something needs to change, and so I’m going to spend a little time figuring out what that means and what comes next. Sometimes a little shake-up to the normal routine is a good thing.


I’m glad I got this out today. Now before I go, let me leave you with this…


“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”


Read that again. And again. And again. Do not give others the power to change how you view yourself. True power is restraint.

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