Let’s talk about not giving an eff what people think about us. Sound good? That’s right – I think so too. But first, feel free to catch up on the first few lessons learned, before moving along.
And now –
Lesson #5: Not giving a f*ck what people think about me.
Okay, so you know what the most freeing things I’ve ever done are? Releasing the need to be liked by everyone, along with my people-pleasing tendencies. Oh, and simply not giving a f*ck what anyone thinks of me. Hands-down one of the best conscious decisions I’ve ever made.
I have enjoyed learning that I can be true to who I am without feeling like I need approval from anyone. How someone perceives me is from their own level of perception, and their level of perception is their reality, and I’m no longer willing to argue with that. Trust, I have argued to be liked and to be loved. It’s degrading. Please don’t do that to yourself, you are worth way more. And let me tell you, I am so happy I have fiiiinally learned that I am worth so much more, too.
For me, I am who I am – you can like me or not, and I assure you it makes no difference to me. I no longer let anyone’s opinion of me impact me, my self-love, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-respect like I used to. Take it or leave it. I am an all-or-nothing type of woman. There is no in-between with me where you get to be unsure about me. I don’t need that hesitancy and negativity in my life anymore. I have so moved past it. Like me, or love me, or get the eff out. I’ll even walk you to the door. But if you want to stay, I will love you with all I am and more. See? All-or-nothing. I just don’t force things, I let them be what they are meant to be – and I’ve stopped trying to change the outcome. Annnnd yes, those were also all tough lessons to learn.
All of this is empowering as all get out, my friends. To know YOU are in control of who you let stay in your life, your circle, and your heart. Oh, and you are also in control of who you let go of. People come, and people go, so let it be what it is.
If you knew how hard it was and how long it took to rebuild my little universe of peace and happiness, then you would understand why I’m so picky about who I allow in my life.
Amen. I intentionally keep my circle small, and I edit my life often for my own well-being. I no longer keep people in my life who are no good for me, or who do not want to be here. Don’t let people stay because you want them to like you, or love you, or because you’re stuck on people-pleasing. Let it go.
Here’s the thing. We learn as children to make friends and “fit in”. We learn to please others and to derive accomplishment and a sense of satisfaction from it. We let everyone’s opinion of us affect us, we internalize negative words, and we allow them to become a reflection of who we are and what we are worthy of in life. Everyone pulls us in different directions, telling us who we should be, what we should do. Everyone has an opinion about us as individuals and how we should live our lives. We grow up learning one thing, then we take on the opinions of everyone else, and then there is society with its own version of everything we should and should not be. This is all so overwhelming and confusing. No wonder it takes us until we’re 30 to figure out who we are SEPARATELY from who everyone else tells us we are. Let’s all stop shoulding on ourselves and others, shall we?
Just be yourself. You know exactly who you are. Believe it, live it. Be you.
Trust that I have desperately hung on to others’ opinions of me. I have let their words entirely destroy me and make me question myself, my worth, and my ability to be loved. Don’t. Don’t do that to yourself. YOU are MORE than what anyone says you are. Believe in yourself, value yourself, LOVE yourself, and know your worth. The people who aren’t clapping for you, encouraging you, and supporting you wholeheartedly are NOT YOUR PEOPLE. They simply aren’t worthy of being in your life. Show them the door and find new people. Your people.
Do yourself a favor and don’t even consider for a second the opinion someone else has of you. Like I said, you know yourself better than anyone. I’m not saying to ignore things you can improve on – go ahead, be better than you were yesterday. Do the soul searching it takes to become self-ware and to understand how you can become better in life. Just remember to do it for yourself, because you’re learning new things, growing, and becoming a better person. Change for yourself, become a better person for yourself. Doing these things for yourself will begin to reflect outwardly to those around you. And, you’ll also begin to attract better people into your life.
Energy flows where attention goes.
So, be wise about who and what you choose to focus on.
The day you decide to not give a f*ck what ANYONE thinks about you is the day you’ll find yourself and the freedom you seek. You’ll start to see it happening once you learn to love yourself for who YOU know yourself to be. You’ll have enough self-confidence that you simply won’t seek outward validation. Your approval of yourself lies within you and only you. So, seek within because it’s there that you’ll find ALL the answers you’ll ever need.
Trust yourself, love yourself. The ground you stand on is solid and you don’t need approval from anyone in this life. Simply be you. You will find your people and they will find you. Until then, don’t let anyone push you around or bully you. You are worth more.
Love yourself first, the rest will follow.