Hiya there! I just had a much-needed relaxing evening, drinking homemade Andes mint hot chocolate and baking Reese’s peanut butter cup cookies. Oh, and listening to ALL the music! Quiet alone time doing things I love and enjoy is the best!
Today I’m just going to let my thoughts roll out here in what I’m calling Random Ramblings. Something I’m quite good at actually, lol! Just spitting out all my random thoughts. Maybe you do the same? No, just me?
First of all, it’s been a heck of a week. Maybe even a few weeks? Let’s be real – my mindset has been effed up. I am trying to gather myself and get back to feeling aligned and centered, but it’s been a struggle.
So, let’s just roll this out here bullet-point style, whaddya say?
- Loved baking cookies tonight and listen to music. It completely took my mind off of everything bothering me. I sang along with my songs and focused on mixing up my cookie dough. Not a care in the world. And I’m thinking…maybe baking really is my happy place. It’s like I forget until I do it again. But, I do call my baking time baking therapy. Soooo! Some people shop, I bake. And indulge in music. Pure bliss.
- I had a super emotional day yesterday. You know how sometimes you just HAVE to cry it out? Well. That happened. I have my days and it bubbled up, so instead of my old way of pushing it all down and away, I just let it out. And today? A much better day. Emotions just need to be felt and let go.
- Song that keeps popping up on my Pandora: She Used to be Mine by Sara Bareilles. I discovered this song 3 years ago and related to it SO MUCH. It was one of those songs I used to quickly hit “skip” on, but now? I listen. And I acknowledge how far I’ve come and how much happier I am with myself. Things aren’t perfect – nothing is – but I am in a good place.
- Another song I keep hearing: Hold My Heart by Sara Bareilles. Clearly, she’s a fave of mine. But yes, this song. ALL the fells. I don’t relate to every word, but it’s like that line “Does anybody know how to hold my heart” – it gets me. And it has for a few years. But it feels more significant now. Why? Because I’ve committed to God that I’m going to let go of things. I have to clear out space in my head and heart for the one I am meant to love and who will love me. I can’t move forward if I’m still mentally and emotionally holding on to things I need to let go of.
- Been very excited still about my upcoming Yoga Teacher Training in Santorini, Greece. It feels like a turning point for me. Like something significant, impactful, and positive happens there for me. Maybe that’s where I truly learn to let it all go and allow myself to move forward in life. I don’t know. But what I do know is that it’s going to be AMAZING and that something good, something REALLY good, comes from it. Just a feeling I keep getting.
- I skipped my workout this morning, and I feel pretty crappy about that. When I’m sinking into a not-good place I tend to want to stay in bed and skip my workouts. So, I need to get a handle on this NOW. I love my workouts for so many reasons, so I just need to remind myself of that. I’m currently at the end of Fitness Blender’s Strong program – it’s been awesome! And it’s also been a struggle because, after resting my lower body for 8 weeks, I hopped back in with this program, and I’ve been SO SORE! Not a bad problem to have, it just messed up my ability to follow the program exactly. I’ve been slowly increasing the amount of weight I’m using, and I’m sure that contributed too. So, I just need to ensure I stick to my workouts and keep pushing myself. Like I said, it’s how I know I’m sinking…when I skip a workout.
- As you can see, I’ve definitely been struggling with my mindset. The good news is that it’s not negative self-talk. It’s just kind of a feeling of what do I do next. I’m ready to jump and take a risk to create the life I desire. I just tend to pause and wonder…what comes next? So, I think what I need to do is spend some time planning for 2019. I have goals, so it’s time to kick myself in the butt and get moving.
- I am off to Florida in 2 weeks to spend Christmas with my sister and her family, along with our parents. This is a happy moment for me and something I’m thankful for – as I mentioned before, I spent 19 years being very hurt and closed off from my sister. Over the last few years though, we’ve built a relationship, and I’m excited to be able to see her and spend the holiday with her and her family. It’s a huge sign of growth for me, and I feel very blessed.
- Also, FLORIDA! Way better than Michigan winters. Omgee, I’m so excited!
- I’ve been working for 6 months straight, and let’s be honest, I’m looking forward to a break. I need it. And while I’m away, I’m praying for a lot of clarity to enter into my life. I am the only one who can change my life, so I need to get serious and figure things out.
- I dislike feeling scattered and all over the place. It’s not who I am. So, I know I need to get a grip. I am a VERY calm person, organized, together. I need to use my strengths to my benefit and stop letting my thoughts get the best of me. Definitely have some work to do to get myself to where I need and want to be. Goals, y’all. I need to focus!
- Lastly, I’m kind of in the mindset of let it all go, see what stays. Or better yet, let it all go, and see what comes. I’m holding on to things I cannot continue to hold on to. So, over Christmas break, I have a lot to think about and release. I need to show the universe I’m ready for what’s meant for me. And 2019 is my year, so time to get serious about what’s to come. I am ready for it all – just putting it out there.
You know I can keep rambling, right? But, it’s getting late and I need some rest, so off I go. I’ve done yoga every day this month, so I’m going to hop on my mat before hitting the bed. Feel free to drop your random ramblings in the comments. 😊 I’m all ears. Or eyes?
Thanks for hearing me out!